The greatest relationship.
The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in. The ones that swept you off your feet and challenged your ever view. The ones where you found yourself to be a better person because of who you were when he was around. The ones that made you wake up with a smile on your face no matter how corny it was. The ones that made everything right when it was wrong. the ones that caused you physical pain to leave because leaving meant losing a part of yourself.
The greatest relationships are the ones you’ll always remember not because of their length, but because of who you were with. The ones where the memories make you want to laugh when you’re crying. The ones that make you believe that god exists, because no one else could have created someone so amazing. The ones that cause you to change for the better, even if you don’t realize it. the ones where you know you’re being honest with yourself, so much it hurts.
The greatest relationships are the ones where he called you lame and you just rolled your eyes because you knew he was kidding. The ones where you were comfortable around him because you knew he’d love you no matter what. The ones where love seemed to be the only answer. The ones that made you compromise because it was something you knew you wanted to last. The ones where you accepted what he did because you just wanted to see him happy.
The greatest relationships are the ones that changed your life. The ones that made you rethink your future because you knew it’d be better with him. The ones where you felt like your forever had finally appeared. The ones that made you question the ending. The ones that told you to push through the problems because eventually it would be better again. The ones where you broke your heart and his for his good, even when you couldn’t explain without breaking a rule.
The greatest relationships are the ones where you care more about his happiness then you do about your own. The ones where you do what you do for his future, even if it means wrecking your present. The ones where you tell yourself to walk in the opposite direction, because you know there are just some things you can’t do. The ones when you cry not because it’s over, but because you know you lost not only him, but your best friend too.
The greatest relationships are the ones where you’ll thank him for being a part of your life, no matter how short. The ones where you’ll never forget him because he helped shape your view on love. The ones where you’ll always be there for him, whether or not he’ll accept that. The ones where he put up with your crap when he didn’t have to. The ones where your last tribute to him was doing something he never thought you’d do - and loving it.
The greatest relationships are the ones where you’ll always love him, even when he’s forgotten all about you. The ones where you’re changed forever because of him. The ones that you will always smile about because while they were flawed, they were still amazing. The ones where you fought what you knew was going to happen because you couldn’t quite come to terms with losing him. the ones that remind you love lost is better than never having loved at all.(via poeticheartache)
I'm sorry
I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. I don’t know why when people tell me something that shouldn’t affect me it does. When people tell me they don’t like me and I may like them, it sucks more than people realize. I’m sorry I’m trying to fix it. Sometimes I hate this blog because I realize that things can be misinterpreted so easily. I don’t know how to explain myself sometimes, the words get spacey, sporatic, and lost. When you said you won’t let me take you to prom because of the money I felt totally just shot down. When you said you might have midterms and your parents won’t let me, I I I just don’t know what to say anymore. Fuck. That’s the right word in this case, fuck.
Let me be a teenager. Someone help me please. I need to learn to enjoy what life I have, not the one I wish I had with the friends other people have. I want to have a life with the friends I do have. Hanging out the way that we hang out and just have fun for once in life.
Broken
“Sometimes the most beautiful things in the world are the broken people of the world. They are beautiful because you know that they care and they are being true to themselves. Sometimes you can’t see their real face and sometimes you can. Whether they hide it or not doesn’t matter, what matters is they care about something. They found something worthwhile and feel like they have lost something they thought was important.”
- Just me thinking
You can’t see my face sometimes. I hate me. I’ve lost myself and I don’t know where it is. I got a little of it back last night with the St. Francis game, but I can’t stop the tears from falling inside. I don’t know if anyone can. I want to be around people, but once that happens I want to push people away. My tumblr is going to be deleted probably soon just for colleges.
The tears keep on falling, they haven’t stopped for a year or two or three, I don’t remember. I keep trying to stop, and everytime I do I end up crying again. You can’t see my face. You can’t see me. My dreams turn into memories every single time, I want it to change. I want that dream to come true. I work myself so hard I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and it’s frustrating. See my face and know that I am crying, I won’t show it, not because I’m strong, rather I’m weak to let people see me how I really feel again. This is a facade I’m showing you. I want out. I want people to love me for me. I’m crying and events upon events just keep me from stopping.
Fresno
OMG. So much fun. Although I feel sorry for all of the San Jose kids cuz of the breaking of the curfew last time. So we didn’t get to hang out with them and have kareoke. Which by the way Casey is a really bad singer and should never be allowed to sing Taylor Swift (or T-Swizzle as he calls her) again.
The team I was on went 5-1 and we got 3rd place overall losing by point spread…
Epic Fail
But bowling was epically fun. 86 and 136, a pretty good day for my standards. lol go 8 pound ball with no holes and spinning! lol
AND WE HAD SONICCCCCCCC!
She's home
I’ve been waiting for a while it seems, when in reality it’s only been a week. I miss her so much. How am I going to be when she goes to college?
First Day of School
Well, it’s the first day of school coming up, and lets just say that summer was fulfilling, i loved most of it, hated little of it, and wish it would go on longer, but all things must come to an end eventually. Senior year, here i come, time for organization and colleges, and dreaming about gettting into top tiered colleges.
I’m excited i don’t know where i will be going in a year, but come time may 1 i will most definitely know, then come may 3, 4, and 10 i have AP testing, then chillaxing til schools end.
Maybe make a road trip with friends to some naitonal parks, LA, yosemite, i don’t know yet. But definitely i want to make a road trip, and i want to talk to Ray Tufts this year about seeing if i can be like a helper with him this year, for some kinda games or something, so ill start sending out emails or something. I mean he has a dream job that i would love to have. So this summer will be definitely interesting. And so will this school year.
I miss Megan so much right now. She’s away in NY then leaving for SD in a couple of weeks, and i don’t know what im going to do or how im gonna react to certain things. shes one of my best friends, but i like her more than just that.
Live life as it comes right? Well life is coming at me and i don’t know whether to carpe diem or sit back and watch her leave and hope to dear god that we still have feelings for each other come time next summer.
FTW i love my life. well most of it anyway, even the downs sometimes, it makes me feel alive. none of this bullshit pretending anymore, this is who i am, love me or hate me, i don’t care, as long as you know who i am. then make a judgement. Senior year. HERE I COME!
Well
Well I mean I havne’t really had time to post stuff, and frankly there isn’t much means for me to post a lot anymore, life is aight , i wish things were different in terms of time, but i can’t change whats going on and I just have to cherish it while it lasts
Welcome to Oregon
Well I just got into Eugene, Oregon, and it was 99 degrees F…HOT AS HELL
but i finished my 140 character essay and i miss talking to nancy and i finally was able to talk to her today so im glad she is safe from the fire alarm.
And and i got my full 9 hours of sleep by sleeping in the car for the utmost number of hours.
2 schools tomorrow, and i need to start blogging again it gets things off of my mind. my schedule is in crunchtime leading up to school, friends, study, SAT, scholarship, Kairos, etc.
I saw megan yesterday. i miss her already, and i miss a lot of ppl that i hella wanna go and see. but with double days coming up i have to finish community service cuz my 150 hours officially don’t count so i have to finish that up, plus now i have to do some other stuff, im stressed.
i wrote a letter the other day, and usually i don’t write a letter unless something has already gone wrong and this time something didn’t officially go wrong, its just i was kinda depressed about the whole thing and i wanted to write about it…and i now think things are going to go wrong
